I am friends with many of my clients on Facebook. I love seeing their little updates and how their lives grow and evolve. The one thing I never want to see is when someone passes away. Loss is such a hard thing… especially the loss of someone we are very close to.

On Monday evening I saw a post from one of my upcoming brides. I read the post the first time and couldn’t believe it… I read the post probably five times before my brain managed to retain the words written there. For this sweet bride, Monday marked a changing point in her life… her fiancé passed away while at work.

He was young and it was sudden and unexpected. I can’t even begin to fathom the pain, the grief, the doubt and emptiness that she must be feeling to suddenly lose the man of her dreams. I know that I would be an absolute wreck without my Ryan. I’ve wracked my brain trying to figure out what I can do. If there is something I could do to help her get through this time.

Often in these situations, fundraisers are created to raise money for those who are left behind. At this point in time, I don’t know that money is actually a concern for this lovely lady. I know money would mean nothing to me. I wish I had photos of them. I wish I could make her a video or a book. Something to keep him close. But I don’t have any images of them to share.

I’m just at a loss as to how to approach this situation. But my heart so desperately wants to do something to help in this difficult time. So for the time being my prayers will be for her and their families that they can find comfort and peace. And I’ll still be contemplating ways I might be able to help. But until then I’m reminding myself that I am blessed. I’m focusing even more on telling those I care about how much they mean to me on a regular basis. And I’m remembering that there is a much better place we go to when our time here is done.

Photo by Petar Paunchev

I hope you all are having a wonderful Wednesday. Tell your family and friends that you love them today. And I’ll see you back here on Friday

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As I sit here getting everything organized and ready for our anniversary get-away, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. You know, Ryan and I have been together for eight years. We started dating my senior year of high school (Ryan was in college), and we knew within that first year that we were meant to be together, that we couldn’t imagine life without the other person.

I know some people don’t quite understand us (even back then). We’re a little different, and quirky, and we’re comfortable and happy with who we are… We’re not trying to be anybody else. I think that in and of itself can be a hard thing for some people to grasp.

But there’s also the fact that we love to spend time together. I love my husband! I miss him when he’s not here… I miss him everyday when he’s gone for work. And I know he misses me too! We have a weird sense of humor and lots of inside jokes and we’re just happier to have each other around to laugh with, share with, and just simply be with.

I would much rather spend time at home with my husband than go off and do something on my own. And I know that this desire to be with him (even after eight years together) isn’t something everyone understands. In fact I know there are certain people who absolutely don’t understand why I don’t want to go to the bar or go out dancing or have a girls night out. And I’m sorry that I don’t really know how to explain it. I just know that I’m happiest when I’m with him. He makes everything better.

Ryan is my rock, and I am his. In a world that is constantly changing, in our life full of ups and downs and gains and losses – I know that no matter what I can count on him, and he can count on me. I trust him completely and utterly… with my heart and with my life.

On nights when I can’t sleep because the sound of the rain outside my window sounds scarily similar to the crackling of the fire as it made it’s way into my kitchen… I remember that morning. I remember the panic. I remember him being the first thing I thought about and frantically making sure he was awake. There’s a lot I don’t remember, but I remember after we got out with nothing more than our phones, dog and the clothes on our back – I wanted to try and go back inside for my camera, laptop, hard drive… just something. I remember climbing up to the front door to look inside, and as I peered into the dark interior I knew there was no hope of getting anything out. Ryan’s voice drifted up to me, pleading with me to come back out into the yard with him. I could hear the fear in his voice, how scared he was that I might go inside and not come out. I wouldn’t have risked it anyway, but the sound of his voice is something I’ll never forget. Because just in the tone of his voice I knew every thought and worry that was running through his head… fears that I had felt too. The chiefest among them “I need you! I don’t know what I would do without you!”

I know that I am lucky. I am lucky to be alive actually, but I’m especially lucky to have found someone who is undoubtedly my soulmate, my missing other half as Plato believed. And that is truly what Ryan is for me – my other half – he makes me feel whole. And I know that whatever this crazy life of ours throws at us, we’ll be able to handle it. Because we have each other. And together we can overcome anything.

So for the next two days (Thursday and Friday) I will be feeling blissfully complete as we celebrate our eight years together and four years married. I will not be available to answer the phone or emails, but please do leave me a message and I’ll get back to you first thing Monday morning. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of the week and a super fun weekend!

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